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<h1 style="text-align: center;">Discovering Your Unique Formula For Dating Success</h1> <img src="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/2188445476/photo/couple-quarrel-sad-african-american-woman-feel-desperate-jealous-husband-angry-man-shouting.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=_XSpNa_5x4Fj2-wrTWxyzacrt5WtV6W-h3pQkXrvGkQ=" alt="" width="800" />   Outside of bending moments and moments of inertia, I've also been mulling over what makes both men and women successful at finding what they're looking for in dating. So what makes us tick? We all have our preferences - physical appearance, personality traits, vibe and small quirks we look for in members of the opposite sex. For tips on dating with kids, see <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2025/09/24/how-to-date-as-a-new-single-parent/" rel="dofollow">how to date as a new single parent</a>. The best way to develop a list is by reflecting on the past. After all, those who don't understand history are doomed to repeat it, right? In this case, it'll work for us in that we can reflect on what types we're attracted to, the types of relationships we prefer, and how these types play out over the long run. Let's take me, for example - my first (and only) long-term <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Spain-dating-service.html?gender=female&page=20">relationship happened in college</a>. I say only because it was a year that I'll never get back. It's as if I bottled up a year of my life, took a yellow post-it, labeled it, "[translate:college single life, circa 1998-1999]" and stored it away in the garage - only to find it years later and wonder why I ever did that. It was a prison sentence I'll never forget - or at least that's what it felt like. On the other hand, I look back at girls who might've worked out great in long-term relationships - yet the timing just didn't feel right. I wonder what made them so great, and what traits they had. I've also looked back at different stages in my life, when I was focusing on school, career or not at all on any particular aspect - what types of relationships did I pursue then? <h2>Reflecting On Your Past To Find Your Dating Type</h2> Then result is simple: narrow down what kind of person you want, and in what type of relationship. Secondly, know your own formula for success. Do you usually <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/">meet single people</a> you're attracted to during the day or during the night? I'm using ambiguous pronouns, "people, persons, individuals, etc." here because this stuff is common sense and applies to both sexes. Do we prefer quick flings for a night or something more sustainable that requires a series of dates? When we think about neighborhoods in our city, which one has the types we're looking for? Again, looking at the past helps us solve those questions. For strategies on long-term relationship success, see <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2024/12/11/how-to-build-a-lasting-relationship-beyond-ideal-proposals/" rel="dofollow">how to build a lasting relationship beyond ideal proposals</a>. <h2>Experimenting And Knowing Your Strengths In Dating</h2> But what if we don't have a vast amount of dating experience? The answer is easy: follow anecdotal advice and experiement! We don't always have to experience something to know what it's like. We're surrounded by people (in particular close friends) who have been through a similar experience. There's collective experience among our friends, especially those who are experienced in dating and know how to articulate it. And don't forget the power of experimenting. Sometimes the things we read or see on TV hold some truth - I may mock Maxim and Esquire at times, but they do hold some gems. When you do read something that's believable, whether it be advice or a dating tip - experiment for yourself to see whether it works. Where else do you think I get my lines to approach women? Students, of course... after some due diligence in field testing obviously. So knowing your formula is partly about personal preference - what structure we look for in relationships. It also includes what we're naturally good at. Some guys are great on the party and club scenes. They carry that great energy and light the club up wherever they go. They're happy-go-lucky and do great with a series of light relationships. Others, however, do better on a college campus or wondering the bookstore. They follow their intuition for seeking out true connections with women. They prefer rapport over a rapid exchange of banter in cold approaching. Finally, many <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Malta-dating-service.html?page=121">single guys in 40's</a> are looking to play the field before committing to a serious relationship again. They're up for a series of experiences, not just venturing out to one scene or another. So look for what you're good at, and it'll increase your chances. For advice on courting women with confidence, see <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2025/09/24/how-and-when-to-escalate-with-a-girl/" rel="dofollow">how and when to escalate with a girl</a>. For example, my formula is meeting women (both day and night), holding a 20-30 minute conversation, then setting up a date and following through with it. After several dates, I'll get a good idea as to whether this person will work out. I like keeping dates super simple and holding them in my neighborhood if possible. My style is upbeat and witty in banter, followed by sincerity in rapport. The types I go for banter right back, stay quick on their feet and somewhat hard headed - they're not bashful about getting their point of view across. They share the same underlying openness and genuineness - authenticity in who they are over social norms and peer pressure.